Cuckoo

I was reminded last night of how special my Cuckoo Clock is.  My dad bought it for me.  That's probably the reason and it reminds me of being home.  When the house is quiet (rare occurrence but it occasionally does happen) I can hear the tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.  I sometimes think it is a slap in the face.  SLOW down!!!  The ticks and the tocks are going so fast.....

When Makayla was born, I thought for sure I would remember every single moment.  I remember the smell of her new born head when I kissed it, I remember the way she smiled at me, I remember holding her and dancing in her room wishing she would stay little forever.....I remember her Pink Lady dance, I remember her watching Elmo's Potty Time 2000 times, I remember her kindness, I remember her first pony tail, I remember her laughing on the swing set, I remember her pink cowgirl boots, I remember her first chocolate cake....

A boy they said....A boy.  I remember Mike's excitement, I remember Kristy and Forrest playing in the lobby with Makayla while they waited on the announcement, I remember my dad so happy with the news, I remember choosing Stone Jett for the name - he was sure to be a Heisman Trophy winner with that name :) I remember two days before he was born....my dad diagnosed with melanoma, my grandpa Blackstone died, I remember my dad sneaking in the OR to catch a peak of Stone before he drove away to the funeral..... His dark hair, his dark skin, his big dark eyes.... I knew we were in trouble. 

I was carrying in the groceries, I left Mike alone with an almost 3 year old and 8 month old for 45 minutes... I remember his words, "Do you want to adopt a baby?"  I remember I thought he was crazy.  He must have watched a Feed the Children Infomercial while I was gone....I remember Dr. Johnson's words, Leaving the Hospital, Safe Haven, In Labor Now....I remember what the pastor said, "Don't fight God's will"...I remember calling a lawyer at 10PM, I remember calling my neighbor at 7AM...I remember sitting in the lobby at the hospital reading US Weekly Nick and Jessica were divorcing ....I remember when they came and got me, I remember they weren't monsters, I remember they were scared....I remember clutching my laptop and I remember them walking out the door...I remember his cone head, I remember his chubby face, I remember knowing I was his mother when I held him.  

Now as I sit and listen to the Tick-Tock....I want to freeze time.  A new home will soon house our Cuckoo Clock.  A new group of boys will soon be apart of our family.  A new community will soon help us make memories.  A new chapter for the same Fab Five :)  

HOUSE CLEANING

bus·y

   [biz-ee] adjective, bus·i·er,bus·i·est, verb, bus·ied, bus·y·ing.

adjective

1.

actively and attentively engaged in work or a pastime: busywith her work.

2.

not at leisure; otherwise engaged: He couldn't see any visitorsbecause he was busy.

3.

full of or characterized by activity: a busy life.

4.

(of a telephone line) in use by a party or parties and notimmediately accessible.

5.

officious; meddlesome; prying.

I guess I have been BUSY by all definitions :)  When I read through my blog and think about all that has changed in one short year, I am amazed.  I remember my dad telling me how fast my life will go, but I remember all 18 years of me thinking "Not my life, this is the longest 18 years in the history of 18".  Now I get it!  

Last summer I was diagnosed with Melanoma.  When a doctor says that to you and you go home and google the word, within seconds you find some website that will detail step by step how you will die.  After spending countless hours reading the website and finding completely depressing videos on everything from Facebook to Twitter about Melanoma, I decided I will give it a new face :)  

I slapped on a white patch and rocked it.  I refused to sit in the shade and wear a 10 gallon hat.  I refused to wear a wet suit when I went to the pool.  I refused to give up the one thing that has always made me feel better, the SUN.  

I could go on and on with the reasons why I think I have melanoma- hours in a tanning bed, baby oil for sun block, family history, sunburns on top of sunburns, on and on...but fact is:  I am a sun worshiper.  

My bible study leader Ann would always say in a field with beautiful flowers and tall grass is where she felt closest to God.  I always get that feeling when the sun hits my face.  I was very sick when I was 16 (in fact on my sweet 16) and after days in the hospital and stuck in my house, I remember my parents sat me outside on the deck because it was suppose to be sunny.  I will never forget opening my eyes and feeling the sun just waking me up.  To this day just walking outside and feeling the sun, wakes me up.  I guess that is why it is hard for me to swallow that something I love so much could cause something so terrible on my body.  

This is not a pitty party for me.  I have been cleared and am under great supervision every 3 months for scans and body checks.  After that diagnosis though I realized there were many areas of my life that needed adjusting, not just my sunblock. 

Food has always been a "frienemey".  From age 13 till my early 20's I had an eating disorder.  I am pretty sure almost every female I met during that time did too at some level.  Mine was a control thing.  When I got healthy and gained control over my issues, I went the opposite way and started eating unhealthy.  Fast food 3 times a day (I cringe as I type).  With football, school, family, excuses, excuses, fast food was just easier.  I can sugar coat it anyway I want to make it look good but I was LAZY. 

So February 2012 came and I did Advocare's 24 Day Challenge.  Literally it changed my life.  CHANGED MY LIFE.  I had to type it again because it was so exciting.  It helped me put a big CHECK next to the second thing on my "House Cleaning" list:  My Body.  I had to realized that I can not take care of anyone else if I am not taking care of myself :)

Family is always there, right?  Your kids can hold on while you send just one more text, right?  Your spouse will understand if you come to bed late because you haven't talked to your friend in 3 months, right?  This is what I was doing.  Everything was more important than what I was claiming to be THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN MY LIFE.  I will never get back the time I wasted but I can make new time and create new memories.  Tonight for example, we had "Family Football Night".  The kids loved watching Monday night football with us, and I waited until after bedtime to get on the computer.  Mike is taking his on-line class now and everyone's needs were met.  Third CHECK FAMILY:)  

I tend to be a BAD friend.  I am so caught up in my life, my needs, my wants...I neglect my friends.  I think social media is great but I think it feeds my brain lies that by commenting on a friends post, I connected with them.  So while my fourth CHECk FRIENDS hasn't been completed yet, please know FRIENDS I am a work in progress.  

While it seems completely silly to tell you my fifth CHECK is football...it is.  Snicker all you want.  I was born and raised on a football field.  I now have 155+ boys I consider family that all play football and I have a family full of football coaches.  I want my kids to be raised on a football field.  I know many of you do not understand why I take them to football practice everyday or why I let them tackle and play rough, but to you I say this:  mind your business.  CHECK :)  

I saved the BEST for last.  My first CHECK is my best and worst.  The thing I ultimately neglect the most but that saves me everyday.  My faith, my savior, my father, my creator, my God, my Jesus.  While I do everyday try to jump out of bed and say "How can I imitate you today Lord" I do often end up doing more of a hop that turns into a side step and instead of imitating it becomes procrastinating....ughhhhh.  I am thankful for his LOVE and CHECK #1 know that my relationship with him is STRONG and my DESIRE to spend eternity with him is DEEP.  

So my actual house getting cleaned is not on the list hence why it's not actually clean :)  

My many HATS...

2011.   It is 2011, right?  I am a girl, woman, lady, chick, whatever you prefer.  And (gasp...loudly) I stand on the sideline at my husbands football games (can you imagine?).  I haven't written anything for a long time because I have been so busy.  Besides my three precious kiddos, and my Masters classes I am taking, I am invested in 110 football players lives.  I am not writing this to defend my actions (really) just to vent.  Behind the scenes what many do not know is that I volunteer my time (which is precious by the way) M-F from 8am-2pm in the football office.  Sometimes I am going through 1100+ recruiting emails, sometimes I am doing various office activities, and sometimes I am voicing my opinion (which I have).  There are other times where I am talking with a player who has no family and needs encouragement, or helping someone proof read a paper, sometimes I am doing laundry, or cleaning the EQ room, or folding jerseys and organizing numbers, sometimes I am talking to parents on the phone reassuring them their "babies" are doing good.  Probably the job I do they enjoy the most, is providing candy in all the meeting rooms (i even take requests).  After  hours I am a big heart for those boys-I listen, I cheer, I encourage, I hug, I cry, I LOVE them unconditionally.
I think for most people on the outside I am just a woman on the sideline.  And what place is a football field for a woman (I mean really).  But unlike most girls I know, I was raised on the football field.  Growing up I spent more hours at football practice than anyplace else (maybe I should of gone to the library? hmmmm).  My dad started picking me up from school in 2nd grade and taking me straight to practice everyday.  My first hat, Coaches Daughter.  He did not tell me to bring my barbies and play in the corner.  He gave me my very own clip board (it wasn't even pink, it was blue), he taught me the plays, he explained the drills, he gave me a whistle and (gasp again) he let me stand on the sideline.  When I wasn't part of practice, Trainer Bob took me under his wing and taught me all about athletic training.  I learned and even taped the players ankles, filled ice jugs, and eventually became the bona-fide water girl (hey I even landed an interview on the news because I was the only water girl in central Ohio-autographs available by request).
In college I worked at the Ohio State University Men's (drum roll) Football Office.  I answered phones and did office work but also helped with recruiting and getting play books ready.  One coach even allowed me to grade film with him.  Fast forward to today.
I am a Coaches wife.  My prince charming went from football player (frog) to coach (prince).  All my years of being on the football field have allowed me to be able to know amazing things that most women do not know; Trips Right (three receivers line up on the same side of the ball), 4-3 defense (four lineman and three linebackers), and lots of other useful knowledge.  I watch a football game unlike most, I am really breaking down each play.  The bonus to being on the inside you also see what goes into each and every play.  These boys do not just show up and play.  They practice, they train, they have breakfast club, they have study tables, and tutors, film, team meetings, and did I mention they also go to class.
The sideline is my home.  I love it.  The noise, the action, the smell (yes, even that), it all is what makes football so awesome to me.  I do not know how to sit in the stands (it can not be comfortable all that sitting and standing) and I do not have the strength in my jaw to bite my tongue when someone finds the need to downgrade a player or coach.  So the sideline is safe for me (or so i thought).   What I am learning, Christian campus or not, Satan will attack.  And he will bring his big guns.  Some people do not want me on the sideline, call it what you want (my sister has lots of great names for it so see her if you want some ideas), but I call it silly.  I love the coaches (I am related to 3 of them) and I love the players.
My journey as a coaches wife has just begun.  I hope my next hat is Coaches Mom.

"And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light."  2 Cor 11:14

I'm BAAAAAAAACK!!!

Husband retiring, moving, selling house, husband getting new job, and unpacking makes little time for blog writing. However it does provide for much material for blogging :) What is hard for me to describe is that moving for our family is equivalent to a trip to Walmart for another family. We can seriously pack and load in one day. My dad said there are two things he knows Mike can do better than anyone else, Catch a football and load a U-Haul truck. The move itself this time was much more emotional for me than our other 8 moves. In 2007, we had decided that we wanted to have a forever house, a house we would grow old in, a house that our kids would always have, a house filled with LOVE and memories. So that is exactly what we did. We designed it, tweaked it, met with builders, painters, decorators, etc we had a hand in every decision that went into that house. When it was finished, I am pretty certain I have never seen anything more beautiful. Every corner of it was perfect, made exactly for our family. I had hired Mother Nursery to help me design the kids bedrooms and they were the most perfect bedrooms any child could wish for. Every details was amazing. So we moved into to our dream house and we LOVED it. Over time however we realized our dream house was just that, a DREAM.

Living in that house made us realize we did not need all of those bells and whistles (although I have come to realize the importance of a big closet). Going back in time, we would not have built our dream house. We would have hopefully realized our dream house is wherever we are as a family. Moving to Huntington, WV and moving into a house that was built in 1937 is the BEST thing that has happened to our family. Makayla's bedroom in our dream house was painted to look like you were in a field looking at a cottage surrounded by animals. It has to be the best little girls room in the world. She had a three dimensional house with her bed upstairs and her very own play house underneath. When we moved to Huntington I painted her bedroom walls yellow and got her a new pink comforter. After making her bed she goes, "Mom this is the best room ever. So much better than my other bedroom" I had to smile because I put so much effort into her other room, spent hours on the internet picking colors, paint, designs, and then spent hours putting it all together. Her new bedroom took all of 5 minutes to unfold the new bedding but what she cared about was that her new room is right next to mommy and daddy. To her the best thing in the world is that she can tap on the wall and I can tap right back. That is what Jesus wants from us, to tap him, whenever we need him, wherever we are, he will tap back :)

So February 25 we closed on our DREAM house. It is forever gone from my life and it makes me sad but it makes me incredibly happy to know that I do not need a house to fulfill a dream, I need only my Jesus and all my dreams will come true.

"For in many dreams and in many words there is emptiness. Rather, fear God." Ecclesiastes 5:7

Mom....I just threw-up

When our kids were babies, we swore we had the BEST sleepers.  They all 3 slept through the night in a very short time frame.  Never a peep, oh how we bragged :)  Then something happened, my dad came and spent the night and he heard Stone crying at  2AM.  Strange, because I (even with monitor two inches from my head and on the highest volume) never heard him.  Basically after that night we realized our babies probably weren't the best sleepers, we were.  Luckily no baby has ever died from crying.  I know we will be the house where all the sleepovers occur because our kids will quickly realize we hear NOTHING in our sleep (that is why the alarm will always be set and the code will be shared with ZERO of our kids).  Poor Makayla last night woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me she had thrown-up.  I felt bad because I did not hear her (and I know when I am sick I want the entire house sitting there consoling me) and she was so sweet and sad all at the same time.  In the morning when I called my sister, we figured out that her son, too had thrown-up and ironically enough they threw-up the same thing-chocolate peanut butter ice cream.  So with our best medical engine search, we determined slight case of food poisoning (who needs medical school when you have web md).

"Didn't you know that I had to be in my Father's house?"  Luke 2:49

This verse was in my bible study yesterday and oh how it applies to me (in more than one case).  If I am EVER lost, find my dad-he will either be with me or know where I am.  Not much in my life happens that he does not know about.  I know, Jesus just had to feel that way, too.  God knew where he was at all times.  And now he knows where I am at all times; reading people magazine (when I should be reading the bible), talking to my sister (when I should be reading the bible), day dreaming at church (when I really should be paying attention...you get my drift.  God knows, even if you don't tell him, he knows.  How nice to know I can talk and share with someone, who already knows exactly what I am going through :)  Lucky for me, being with my dad is a shining example of being with Christ.   

Ewwwww Gross

What happens when I have no babysitter and I am home alone on a Friday after the kids go to bed, I get on the computer and see things like Miley Cyrus' new video.  Before I go any further, I must say I understand that entertainers, athletes, musicians, movie stars, etc do not ask to be role models, but let's face it, they are. Like it or not, they chose their profession and the knew what came along with it.  A platform to change, inspire, and motivate hundreds and thousands of kids.  Or they can waste it away.  Sadly, the only ones we ever hear about are the bad.  I remember clear as day when Makayla was 4 and she came home from preschool and said she loved Hannah Montana.  I knew she had never seen the show but I did a little research and she seemed harmless enough.  So we bought in, music videos, cd's, make-up kits, dolls, pajama's, we even scored great concert tickets to see her in Cleveland.  So I know that she is now 17 and in Hollywood that must be like 30 but her new video is more like something men pay for on one of those XXX sites (at least I am assuming).  I was stunned and sad all at the same time.  Sad because I know hundreds and thousands of teenage girls will now think that sort of behavior is okay.  My heart aches for her as she is growing up way too fast and my heart aches for Makayla as she will never again be allowed to watch her show :)

With eyes wide open to the mercies of God, I beg you my brothers, as an act of intelligent worship, to give him your bodies, as a living sacrifice, consecrated to him and acceptable by him.  Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mould, but let God re-mould your minds from within, so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good, meets all his demands and moves towards the goal of true maturity.  Romana 12:1-2

I am still working out, not losing any weight but losing my breakfast after I run around for 20 minutes :)

Gray?

Sisters are great, right?  If you have an older sister (like me) your relationship probably went a little something like this; You were born, they were mad at you.  You got a new toy, they destroyed it.  You wanted to play with them, they asked you to be the goalie then drilled balls at you.  You asked them to do your hair, they shaved your bangs off.  You "borrowed" their favorite sweater (accidently got ketchup all over it), they got you in trouble.  You followed them around, they walked faster.  She leaves for college, you suddenly become the oldest.  You have major dilemma, she has advice.  You meet boy, she thinks he's weird, but still agrees to be maid of honor :)  You have baby (and have NO idea what you are doing), she takes your call at 2AM.  You need help, she's the first one there.  You are looking at your dark hair in the mirror, she points out your first gray hair.....

"And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou are careful and troubled about many things; But one thing is needful; and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. "
Luke 10:41

So sometimes I am Mary and sometimes my sister is Martha, we switch, which is good because really who needs two Mary's in one family?